How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize