So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
