You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
