The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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