do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
