I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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