Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
