I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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