You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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