just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
