Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
