We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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