So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
