She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize