At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
