When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
