ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
