Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
