super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
