I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
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