whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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