i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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