4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
