marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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