I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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