I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
