She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
