I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
