Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
