bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
