Grow some girl-balls and come out already
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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