are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
