brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize