next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
