I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
