Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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