It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
