hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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