Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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