he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
