Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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