oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
