I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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