Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
