i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
