First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
