nutella sex= disaster
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
