did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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