so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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