Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
