So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
