i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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