i jhust puked up my retainher.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
