so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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