Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
