And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
