Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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