No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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