dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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