She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
